Goodbye TFC - Hello Baby Elam

Today was a really big day for us.  We had our final appointment at the Texas Fertility Center.  I thought this day would be so exciting, an end to the battle with infertility and the start of a whole new chapter.  But, it was bittersweet.  We've been through so much this past year, and my doctor and nurses have been there each step of the way.  They've become like family.  How many doctors do you know who will cry tears of sorrow when you lose a baby and tears of joy as you listen to the baby's heartbeat together?  We're looking forward to the day we get to introduce them to Baby Elam in the flesh!

Baby Elam put on quite a show during our appointment.  He/she (I think it's a he) was moving around, showing off arms and legs.  Absolutely incredible.  I have never been more in awe of this miracle - "fearfully and wonderfully made" takes on a whole new meaning.  I thank God every day for making the impossible possible for us. 


What I'm learning:  Fear.  I have discovered I have a tendency to be fearful.  During the infertility journey, I feared never being able to get pregnant, watching all my friends start families and leaving me behind, wondering how long this battle would last.  I thought pregnancy would leave nothing left to fear!

Then, we lost a baby.  Finding out we were pregnant again was very mixed for me.  I was almost afraid to get too excited, just in case we lost this baby, too.  Every day I wake up praying the baby's heart is still beating, fearing today is the day I'll find out we're no longer pregnant.  Is this how it's supposed to be for the next 7 months?  I'm learning in a new way that this is not God's plan for me.  He says:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Was God with us when we lost our first baby?  Absolutely, with out a shadow of a doubt. I know He will never leave our side and already has a plan for this precious new baby.  How can I fear in light of that truth?  Can't wait to see what He has in store...

Baking

I bake at night.  Now, I feel SO SICK at night.  I'm lucky if I keep my dinner down at night!  I have missed baking for the past two weeks, but the thought of the smell is enough for me to abstain.  I have a long list of goodies I plan to bake, so I thought I'd share those with you:

Mini Chocolate Chip Muffins - Recipe here

 I'm always on the lookout for ways to use my mini muffin pan, and these look so delicious!

Mini Cherry Pies - Recipe here


How adorable are these?  AND, you can use a muffin pan to make them.  I hope to make them soon!


Coconut Scones - Recipe here

Springtime is almost here, and these just seem Springy to me.  I love coconut!

What do you think?

Birthing Center or Hospital birth?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!