Letting Go

Harper Grayce is 7 months old.  I'm still in shock at the rapid pace in which we seem to be running through life right now.  I can't seem to keep this girl a baby.  Here's what Harper can do now:


-Say "momma" and "dada".  It melts my heart.  She's really loud when she talks, and she likes to converse pretty much all day.  Such a girl, right?


-Drink water from a sippy cup.  She loves that cup!

-Eat a wide range of foods.  She hates peas and avacado.  A lot.

-Plank.  She's really close to crawling, and she does this all the time:

Harper was dedicated at church on Mother's Day, which was a really special day for our us.  We were able to stand in front of our church family, as well as our own families, and ask for help in raising our little girl.  It was surreal to publicly give her to back to God.  We know we can never raise this precious one without His help!

Letting Go


I have such a hard time letting go, blog world.  Read my blog, and you'll see.  I have made a commitment to completely wean from pumping by the time Harper's 8 months, and that's literally just a week away.  Pumping has allowed Harper to become such a healthy girl, and it has been so special to provide this food for her, as hard as it has been on me.  I still haven't slept more than 5 hours at a stretch since Harper was born.  My body is very tired.


If I'm really honest, weaning also means coming face to face with reality again.  When the milk dries up, I may come face to face with my infertility.  Will my PCOS rear it's ugly head again?  I just don't know that I'm ready to find out.  I'm so very scared.


All my wants, all my fears, have been rising to the surface.  I want Harper to have a sibling.  I want to be able to have more children.  I want to be normal.


Then, I look at Harper Grayce.  This active, happy, chunky girl in my arms with the most gorgeous blue eyes.  My miracle.

God is faithful.  God is faithful.  God is faithful.  I repeat it every day.  He has never left my side, and He has provided good things.  I hear Him ask me: "Rachel, am I enough for you?  Will you trust me?"


Oh, God.  You are all I need.  So...I'm letting go.  Stepping off the edge of the cliff.  Let the adventure begin.  


Phillipians 4:6-7 (The Message) ^"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."