I'm just now beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, now that our Harper is almost 7 weeks old. We've spent her first weeks here trying to figure out breastfeeding, which has been the most challenging thing I have ever experienced. No kidding - more challenging than infertility, natural childbirth, all of it. I'll try and get to that in another post, but for now, I thought I'd introduce you to Harper and her birth story:
I had a ton of relaxing activities planned for my first week of maternity leave. I had been experiencing pretty strong contractions for about a week, but my doctor's appointment revealed that I wasn't even dilated. I got my hair cut the morning of October 3rd and had plans to continue my freakish nesting obsession by organizing our guest bathroom closet.
By late afternoon, my normal contractions were getting a bit more noticeable, especially in my back. They would come and go and didn't follow a particular pattern, so I figured they were just more of the same. That evening, however, they started to get more painful and regular in my back. Then, (warning - TMI) I lost my mucus plug. By late that evening, I was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the majority of the pain was located in my back, which was NOT good. I tried taking a bath, but it didn't really help. I tried exercises we got during birthing class specifically for back labor, but again, not helpful AT ALL. The only thing that brought any relief was rocking on my exercise ball or leaning over with my elbows propped on something.
At 1am, we finally went to the hospital. As soon as I got in the hospital bed, my contractions, which had been 4-5 minutes apart, lengthened to 7-10 minutes. I was only dilated to 3 centimeters, so we made the decision to go back home. The doctor indicated I was indeed having this baby soon, but I had a lot more laboring to do first.
Back at home, contractions were intensifying. I wasn't talking much any more, and my goal was making it through the stabbing pain in my back. Harlan was timing contractions, and they seemed to be more like 3-4 minutes apart, so back to the hospital we went. Just 2 hours later, I had dilated to 7.5 centimeters and was entering the most difficult part of labor, transition.
I spent most of labor rocking on my ball or leaning over my hospital bed. I don't think I really noticed anyone around me until I started feeling the urge to push. I wanted to push NOW. The nurses told me not to push. Any woman who has been in labor will tell you, not pushing is the most horrific thing you've ever experienced. It's not something you feel you have any control over. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I was told I could finally push.
Pushing is one of the most bizarre, out of body experiences. I kept thinking, "Am I doing this right now?". I think I may have actually asked one of the nurses that very question. I told myself I didn't want to see Harper actually being born through a mirror at the end of the bed, but I ended up using one as a way to make it through each segment of pushing. I made it my goal to get this baby out!
Pushing was hard. I felt like I had just spent hours at the gym. I was covered in sweat, and I honestly thought my child would never come out. Then, she was crowning (holy cow, that burns like nobody's business), and then they were placing her on my chest. It was the most amazing, surreal, empowering moment. I will never forget the feelings of relief and overwhelming love that came flooding in.
In all, my labor was about 18 hours (18 hours of back labor - ouch), and I pushed for about 1.5. Harper was 5 pounds, 10 ounces and 19 inches long. I was SHOCKED she was so little - the doctors predicted she would be right at 7 pounds.
I have never been more in love. In love with my husband, who was the best coach a girl could ask for. He played music, massaged my back, squeezed my hand, and has been the most amazing support over these past few weeks of Harper's life. (You may notice: Harlan didn't quite get all the facial hair off. He has a lovely mustache in the pictures during labor and delivery...)
My sis acted as my doula, and I must say, she was a life-saver. She kept our families updated and has been such a great help. In fact, we both have the best families. They have made these first weeks of Harper's life much easier for me.
I love Harper in a way I didn't think possible. She's the most precious little being, and I am forever thankful God saw it fit to allow me to be her mother.
Harper's been gaining weight like a champ, after losing over a pound due to breastfeeding issues. I plan on trying to update the blog more now that I actually have a few extra minutes, so please come back and visit. I promise I'll try not to brag on my baby girl too much, but she is the sweetest thing in the whole world...
